About a week ago, I finally entertained the idea my mother suggested five years ago, and my husband reiterated three months ago: that I may have a case of Attention Deficit Disorder.
Last week I noticed that although I have been meaning to start meditating, repeat various affirmations daily, and pray for several weeks, those practices have not yet materialized. I do get up and get stuff done, but some of the things that are most important and exciting to me are getting the royal shaft-o-la: my spiritual practices, my Divine discipline. I fulfill on areas where there is a certain level of anxiety that if I don't things will go to hell in a hand basket (I show up for work, I call people back, I get my daughter where she needs to go). However, areas where there is no fear, where I'm coming purely from a vision of possibility, I am not completing.
That insight jump started two important actions: the creation of this blog and meditating daily in the morning.
I'm reading Autobiography of a Yogi and it's blowing my mind! I'm exploring learning Kriya Yoga and this thought occurred to me - "Am I suffering from Spiritual ADD? I go from one spiritual practice to the next: Transcendental Meditation, sweat lodges, ayahuaska ceremonies, dream interpretation, church, yoga, Reconnective Healing, kriya yoga. Is that a sign of a lack of follow through? Should I just commit to one thing?"
That kind of question is not generated in Divine Consciousness, it's a concern that I'm not "doing something correctly," or I don't look good. When in tune with the Infinite Radar, with Cosmic Mind, I know that I'm doing everything perfectly and looking good has nothing to do with anything.
You are doing so much better than I am! All those spiritual practices...awesome. I just hop from kickboxing to anxious worrying to drinking a martini. You need to train me in your yogi ways. At a certain summer camp perhaps?
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