Super Powers: A Flashy Distraction

Inner Tapestry’s (www.innertapestry.org) next theme is “Super Consciousness.”  Although I had never heard the term before, I imagined it was a synonym for Infinite Radar, so my interest was piqued.  I wrote the following for Inner Tapestry and submitted it a week late:

“At brunch the other day, I asked my husband what Super Consciousness brings to his mind.  He’s an avid graphic novel fan and referenced how “Miracle Man,” by Alan Moore, treats the theme of Super Consciousness.  In “Miracle Man,” a scientist hijacks an average kind of guy, sedates him, and sends his consciousness into an alternate reality.  In this new reality, the man can fly, heal people, and rearrange matter; he’s Miracle Man.  The skills Miracle Man exercises when sedated, are skills we imagine possible when in a state of Super Consciousness.  When we aren’t hemmed it by habituated ways of experiencing the world, when liberated from the rational mind, anything is possible – even Super Powers!  The thing is, Miracle Man has no idea that he is kidnapped and lying drugged in a laboratory.  In this story, then, the Super Powers are revealed for what they are – the trappings of spiritual awakening, not the awakening itself.

As the plot unfolds, Miracle Man connects with an undercurrent of subconscious remembering that facilitates his awakening from sedation into his body on the lab table.  Once back in “average” reality, Miracle Man discovers that anytime he says “Kimota”, the Super Powers he had in the alternative state manifest in his “normal” reality.   The Super Powers, then, become a reflection of awakening!

Part of the human experience is the longing to awaken to who we really are, a particularized manifestation of Divine Consciousness.  Any practice we engage in - meditation, yoga, prayer, chanting, breath-work – is an expression of that longing.  When re-connected with Divine Consciousness/God/The Universe, we might levitate in meditation, hear God’s answer in prayer, harness miraculous healing powers, shape shift into our spirit animal or realize Super Powers.  We might. 

Of course, we might not.  We might become less reactive, more compassionate, or forgive more quickly.  We might listen more attentively.  Not as sexy as Super Powers, certainly, but transformative all the same.

After exploring Super Consciousness with my friends and family for several days, I did a little internet research.  Online, I learned that Super Consciousness refers to a state of elevated awareness.  I read Autobiography of a Yogi last month and I imagine that each time Yogananda went into a state of meditative bliss, he was experiencing Super Consciousness.  It’s easy to see, right?  Likewise, when I read Carlos Castaneda’s excursions with his Toltec teacher, it was evident when he was in a state of Super Consciousness.  In some traditions, Super Consciousness is flashy.  Not flashy, like bling and superficial.  But, flashy like meteors rocketing across the sky. 

In other traditions, and who comes to mind is Thich Naht Han meditating while washing dishes, or Mother Teresa caring for sick people in Calcutta, Super Consciousness is more humble.  Not humble like boring and mundane.  But, humble like crocuses breaking ground to little fanfare.  

How many of us get side tracked looking for flashy signs of Super Consciousness?  I do, sometimes.  How many of us forget to recognize the moments of Super Consciousness that were not met with applause?  Me.  Then, I remember. 

I practice a healing modality called Reconnective Healing.  In a session, people access the energy, light and information that reminds them of who they are – connected to all that is, including Super Consciousness!  It’s not uncommon for clients to wonder if a healing happened if they did not, for example, hallucinate a Pegasus with the face of their deceased grandfather leaping through their heart chakra.

It’s like the parable about the flood.  First, there is a warning on the television, warning people to move to higher ground, the water is rising.  A faithful man is offered a ride out of town by a neighbor and the man replies, “No thank you, I’m waiting for God.”  The waters begin to rise, the man moves to the second floor and another neighbor comes by in a boat, “Want a lift?” “No, thanks, God will take care of me.”  Eventually, the man is standing on his roof and a rescue helicopter throws him a rope, which he refuses.  “God will save me.”  When the faithful man reaches the pearly gates, he finds St. Peter and implores, “I’m a faithful man, why didn’t you spare me?”  St. Peter replies, “What do you mean?  I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter.”

We wonder:  was that swirling cloud of orange dust and that cool wind on my ankles Super Consciousness/Divine Mind/God?  There must be something more.  Carolyn Myss, respected medical intuitive and teacher, addressed a similar wondering – whether the “Average Joe” can develop intuition.  In her characteristic straight shooting style, she says we all have intuition we just don’t listen to it: 

·      “Don’t eat that second cupcake” – Intuition

·      “Give your Great Aunt a call” (she dies two days later) – Intuition

·      “I probably should go home, now” – Intuition

We don’t always listen to our intuition, imagining something sexier will be communicated like the winning lottery numbers, what our boss is thinking, or that we would be wise to fly to a particular island on a specific date to meet our soul mate.  Myss says that the practical approach to developing intuition is to listen and honor the humble voice of intuition that speaks.

Super Consciousness is not a place to get to.  It is not a particular expression.  It may not be flashy.  It is a field of awareness where washing dishes, sweeping floors, and changing tires, can be powerful expressions of awakening.  As can Super Powers. “

The Dark Power of Intuition

I would love to confidently distinguish the voice of my intuition from the voice of my ego.

Seriously, understanding the difference would make my life easier.

This weekend, I met someone at church who said to me, "I just want to be around positive people.  There's so many dick-heads and assholes out there.  You know?  People who don't know shit.  I just want to be around peaceful people.  That's why I'm here.  I don't want to hang around assholes."

Then, inside fifteen minutes of conversation, this same guy told me what I considered intimate details of his life.

When my husband and I were home later that day, I told Charlie I thought this guy had some issues.
"Who doesn't?  Come on, you barely know him."
"I know, but I get this feeling about him."

As I attempted to explain to Charlie what this feeling was, by repeating the conversation the two of us had, I realized it wasn't what this man said, exactly, but the energy around him.  I made a case, to my husband, that this was my intuition, some deep knowing, that was responding to this person.

This is an important distinction.  Because if it's my ego, than I'm "just" not liking this guy because he's different than me.  This isn't particularly noble. In fact, it makes me look petty and insecure.

However, if it's my intuition, then I can claim a kind of "spiritual knowing" and lord it all over town: "No, Charlie, it's not me being threatened by someone with different boundaries and ideas than I have.  There's something not quite well about him, it's an intuitive thing."

It's a conversation stopper. Don't challenge my intuition, bro. There's no way to challenge it because it's not about science and it's not rational.

Intuition can give me carte blanche to justify any perspective I have.  Without requiring facts to back it up, I can say just about anything and chalk it up to intuitive knowing.  "Going to work today doesn't feel right," "I have a sense monogamy is not my path right now," "My intuition is telling me that spending $5,000 on that new skin revitalizer will make a positive difference in my life."

I can see why people like prefer facts over intuition.  Let's face it, how do we know someone has a good sense of their intuition, anyway?  For all we know, they don't know their intuition from a hole in the wall.  I can say it's my intuition that this guy isn't altogether well, but it also might be my complete resistance to his energy.  Seriously, for all I know he's doing the best he can, aiming for the good life, and occasionally latches on to people and tells them stories that are disproportionately long relative to the length of time he's known them.  My ego doesn't like that because it wants to circulate the room, get to know more people, not get stuck in a conversation with some guy who doesn't seem particularly consistent or stable.

So, what to do?  Do I honor that voice, that feeling something is not quite right about this guy (I don't feel threatened, by the way, so there's no issue of safety as far as I can see) or do I challenge my ego and practice acceptance?  How do I know?

One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever heard was from Carolyn Myss, renowned medical intuitive, writer and teacher.  She said, everybody is connected with intuition, we just don't listen.  The voice that tells you, "Don't eat that second cupcake, you don't need it" - Intuition.  "Why don't you give your great aunt a call?" (and she dies two days later) - Intuition.  "I keep thinking that if I start exercising more, I'll feel better" - Intuition.  How often do we listen to that voice, value it, heed it's advice?  The more we listen to it, the more it'll speak, and the easier it will be to distinguish it's sound from our ego.

It's simple, really.  Intuition isn't advanced spiritual science, it's practicing what you know to be true.

The Road to Recovery

I have the good fortune of having friends with addictions that they are responsible for.  Meaning, they are in various states of recovery.  Some of the people I admire most are active in the 12 Step program.  Over the years, I’ve developed a tremendous respect for the 12 Steps and have wondered whether our society’s addiction to natural resource consumption and consumerism would be best addressed by collective participation in the program. 

April 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm, I declared that I am in recovery.  I am in recovery from my addiction to convincing my husband to do something different about his work situation. 

It’s an awful addiction, like all addictions, because even if I get a fix, I’m never satisfied.  I’m left with craving, wanting and then getting angry that I don’t get what I want:  my husband to behave differently.   Those of you loving people with addictions, you know what it’s like.  They are their lovely selves and then someone mentions crack and they start acting all sneaky, jittery, and you wonder if they’re going to run out and pimp themselves in an abandoned building somewhere to get a fix.

It’s not pretty, what this addiction does to me. 

For instance, yesterday morning I’m charmed by how kind and loving my husband is, how handsome, interesting, smart and generous.  Then, he mentioned he watched the Colbert Report.  It’s a benign reference, right?  It’s a perfect opportunity for us to share a laugh about Stephen’s latest antics, right? Wrong.  

Television shows?!???!!  Did you work on your resume?  Did you write about the things you like to do?  Did you look at help wanted sites?  Did you make any phone calls?  Did you clean the bathroom?  Did you praise me for working and keeping the house tidy?  Did you practice martial arts? Did you do any art?  Did you do anything that might convince me that you’re in action to create paid work you enjoy?

People who know me will tell you I’m an open-minded kind of gal, non-judgmental, alternative, loving and kind.  Yes, I am, when I’m not besieged by my addiction. 

The internal tirades challenging my husband to prove to me that his day was well spent, they’re not coming from Love and they are certainly not coming from an Infinite Radar.  This thought stream is sourced in a reptilian part of my brain that is reactive, survivalist, narrow and fearful.  This part of my brain is anxious!  Will he ever work?  Will we have money to get the sealants on our daughter’s 12-year-old teeth?  Can I count on him? Can I accept his working this little for the rest of our lives?

It occurred to me, maybe from seeing so many bumper stickers, maybe from my friends in recovery, probably from the profound influence Recovery Programs have had in America, “No, I don’t know how to accept this forever.  I can only be with it one day at a time.”

I experienced so much relief from thinking about just one day, that I wondered, "Do I have an addiction?"

I'm trying on the answer yes.  

Kicking the Dog, Didactic Parenting and Deepening the Practice

Yesterday at the beach, someone kicked our dog.  My daughter, her friend and I were all there when it happened.

Jake, along with 20 other dogs, was running around off leash at the beach.  He went over to the only two dogs on the beach that were on leashes, sniffed around and tried to engage them in play.  The women who were holding the dogs on leashes didn't appear too friendly so I sent Jake elsewhere.  Oh, but a dog knows what he wants.  A minute later, he was back by those "leashed-up" dogs.

I heard one of the women yell, "There's gonna be a fuckin' dog fight!"  I was looking at the same dogs she was looking at and I didn't see this storm brewing.  What I saw were dogs on leashes jumping around, wanting to play with Jake.  But, I walked back over, this time with the leash.

As I neared, one of the women said, "Your dog doesn't fuckin' know how to play" and kicked Jake away from her dog.  Not an overly aggressive kick, but a kick nevertheless, a kick where Jake actually caught air.  Fortunately, Jack didn't cry or yelp so I knew he was fine.

"I don't know about that.  Dogs play different when they are on and off leash.  I think it's hard for dogs on leashes when other dogs aren't on leashes."

"So, fuckin' leash your dog," she told me, as I was leashing Jake.

I looked at her, I looked into her eyes.  This woman was pissed off and she thought it was about my dog but I'm telling you, that's the tip of the iceberg.  You know what that's like, being with someone who is angry?  They don't have to say a word because it's in their eyes, in their posture, and in the vibration of the energy around them.  I have no idea what's going on for this woman but her anger is huge.  I held her gaze and I said calmly, "I am."

"Yeah, it fuckin' took you a half hour."

I kept looking at her, "Alright."

(A word about the f-bomb is called for at this point.  I've got friends who drop the f-bomb regularly.  Like, "Shit, you really fucked that up, Anna."  Really, what they are saying is, "Dear, you botched that one, eh?"   

These f-bombs on the beach didn't occur like that.  No, her f-bombs landed like, "You fuckin' stupid-ass dog owner, you don't do what I'm telling you to do and I'm going to fuck you and your dog up.")

Now this was one of those perfect teaching moments for parents like me, parents who like to turn everyday life situations into moral codes for their children to live by.

My 12-year-old daughter was furious!  "Mom, she kicked Jake!"

"Yeah, but Jake's okay."

"Mom!  It doesn't matter, she kicked Jake.  I had to walk away otherwise I would have told her off."

I didn't tell her this but I admired that and it cracked me up at the same time.  This woman was easily 5'9" and 200 pounds, wearing Timberlands, jeans and a sweatshirt.  She could have kicked my ass in two seconds if I were inclined to get into fights.

"Well," I said, "I wasn't going to take her hot potato."

"What are you talking about, Mom?"

"You saw how angry she was, right?  It didn't make sense.  She's got a hot potato, all that anger, and she was seeing if she could pass it on to me.  If I wanted to take some of her anger and get angry myself.  No thanks.  No thanks.  If she wants to give me $50, I'll take that.  Not her anger."

We talked about the dog-kicking, which is how we refer to the incident on the beach, for a while: me, my daughter and her friend.  Later that night, I told my best friend and my husband who was out of town.  And in all the tellings, I was pretty proud of myself, I didn't lose my cool and I artfully modeled to my daughter how to be an exemplary human being.

I took Jake on a walk today, in the woods, and told the two guys I met who were also walking their dogs about the dog-kicking.  "You know, it was a good reminder that people have very different norms around dogs," I told them.  And, I believe that.  Some people are very strict with their dogs, and expect the rest of us to be, too.

As I walked away from the second man I shared this with, my arrogance hit me full in the face. I did not react with anger.  I did not escalate the emotional charge of the situation.  And that is good.  However, I didn't consciously give this woman any love.  I was behaving well to resist her, not to connect with her.

I'm not pretending I'm Gandhi, here.  All I know is that I feel better, I'm happier, when I look around and see people as possible friends.   This woman never had a chance with me.

In yoga, we train ourselves to never arrive, to always deepen into the experience.  If we ever think we've arrived, mastered a pose, we know we're in trouble!  Because perfection is not the goal, practice is what we're after:  Practice makes practice.  

I see the next possible practice for me is to engage a person like that as if s/he were my good friend.  I would be non-reactive, like I was, and I would respect myself, as I did.  What I will add is an awareness that were we to meet in a dark alley with a rabid dog chasing us, she could save my life.