I wrote this tongue-in-cheek post in September 2011. In fact, this entire blog is from that time period. If you are interested in seeing what I've been writing about recently, please visit the Wonder With Institute blog. Love, Anna
Get to Date Formula
After a break-up, what is the socially sanctioned amount of time you're supposed to wait before you start dating again? When can a person start dating without being assaulted by judgements and criticisms from family, friends and society? We're all asking the question, and now Anna Allocco is giving out the answer. Keep reading to access the Get to Date Formula absolutely free!
When asked why she's revealing this formula absolutely free, Anna said:
"I realize that our judgements and opinions about how other people should live their lives and what we think other people's judgements are of us, influence our behavior. A recent Onion article about dating moved me to tears. After the tears, I heard a quiet voice. First, it whispered that if we're going to value other people's opinions, real or imagined, we should be scientific about it! Then, the voice whispered this amazing formula. I know I'm risking a lot by putting the Get to Date Formula on-line now, without a copyright. Wayne Dyer, Caroline Myss or even the Dalai Llama himself could get a hold of it and make millions and further their reputations. Still, I can't keep it under cover; this needs to be shared!"
Anna Allocco's Get to Date Formula:
A couple caveats. First, if you are one of those women who eye someone else's husband and judges his wife for being too loose with the ativan, demurely encouraging their break up as you emphasize again and again how you can save him from the vulgarities of codependency, you never get to be part of the Get to Date Formula. That's right. There is a never a time when you figure into the equation.
Also, if you are one of those guys who likes women (or men) until they like you back.... You too, you're out.
Obviously, anybody who is abusing someone... your Get to Date Formula is simple: Get Your Shit Together. Stop beating somebody else because you can't handle your own frustration. Deal with your issues and earn the referrals of FOUR well respected health professionals who will vouch for your non-violence. Then, maybe, you can get into the Get to Date Formula.
Okay, let's get down to business....
Determine the number of years you've been together in a committed relationship. This value is called LC, Length of Commitment.
This number needs to be multiplied by the percentage of the relationship time where you were actually 'Into It'. You know, mostly liking the person, finding joy in being together, learning from one another even if the learning felt like being impaled by an iron gavel. You can't say you weren't 'Into It' just because the relationship was difficult. Don't do that! Lots of people have difficult relationships and are loving each other and committed. Two reliable indicators you weren't 'Into It' are you were having sex with other people and and you were medicating yourself so you could tolerate your partner. Those are just two of the indicators. Be honest, and calculate your IP, the 'Into It' Percentage. The IP is essential in determining your Waiting Factorial.
LC x IP = Waiting Factorial (WF)
The Waiting Factorial is key, folks. You got all kinds of people out there assuming they know about the Waiting Factorial but who are, in fact, playing loose and fast with the numbers. We've all heard the story - "Look, they were married for 15 years, no way can s/he be ready for dating, not for another 2 years at least! She'll just be focusing on her/him. Plus, s/he should think of others - How does s/he think the family feels? It's awkward for the people at church. Damn, man, consider the neighbors!"
This used to be a conversation stopper, right? Not anymore; not with the 'Into It' Percentage. If you weren't 'Into It' for half the time, your Waiting Factorial changes from 15 to 7.5! Just tell your concerned cousin, your soon to be ex-sister-in-law, the well-meaning woman in line at the Hannafords, "Listen, I know what you mean. But, I wasn't 'Into It' for half the time so I only have to wait one year before I get to date."
Now, hold on. If you're thinking that you have free reign because you weren't 'Into It' for half the time you gotta slow down and consider the Righteous Variables (RV), There are two types - those that add to your Eventual Date Appeal (EDA) and those, unfortunately, that don't (LUGGAGE).
Righteous Variables with Eventual Date Appeal (EDA)
- Add 2 for the first child
- Add 1 for each additional child
- Add 2 for first shared property
- Add 1 for each additional shared property
Righteous Variables with no EDA (LUGGAGE)
- Add 4 for participation in a dogmatic religious tradition that uses guilt and shame as a way of getting people to behave in a certain way
- Add 4 for each health issue that has not yet received your full commitment for two years running (include addictions, untreated and undiagnosed personality disorders everyone else knows you have and lack of dental care)
- Add 4 for each issue with your marriage ending that you KNOW is all your ex's fault
Take the sum of Righteous Variables with Eventual Date Appeal and subtract it from the sum of Righteous Variables, that are, in effect, LUGGAGE.
LUGGAGE - EDA = RV
Let's retrace our steps.
LC x IP = WF
LUGGAGE - EDA = RV
WF + RV = GD, when you finally Get to Date.
If you're not happy with your Get to Date Number, for the next 24 hours you can purchase Anna Allocco's Get to Date Formula Fixer for just $19.99. This is an advanced package that teaches you how to translate your flexibility, willingness to grow and high regard for all people on the planet into a free pass to date whom you please, when you please, and be responsible for the experience!
